Why Focus is the Skill of the Century (and how to stop getting distracted)

Could focus be the skill of the century?

Nir Eyal certainly thinks so.

We’ve all been there, getting up in the morning feeling motivated that we’ll exercise that day, cook a healthy meal, or work on that big project.

And yet, 20 minutes later, we’re scrolling through the News, social media, or our emails.

So, if only we had the power to become indestructible. After all, no meaningful area of your life, from physical and mental health to your career prospects, doesn’t depend on the ability to focus your attention.

Silicon Valley certainly knows how to sustain our focus and keep us coming back; they use our psychology to keep us hooked on their products, such as social media.

But can we use the same psychology for good? Absolutely! Apps like Duolingo and Fitbod use a similar hook model to get people hooked on learning a new language or exercising.

When I attended Eyal’s recent talk at Sydney’s Growth Faculty last month, he offered a new way to think about focus distraction.

How can we control our attention?

In his book, Nirandfar, he discusses how technology has hijacked our attention to the point that we respond to urgency (like tech notifications) rather than importance (like meaningful work and family) and asks us to question what we’d instead be putting our attention towards.

During his talk, he summarised a few of his main points, which I’ve shared below. But for a deeper dive into the subject, I highly recommend reading his book for fantastic insights and advice on beating distractions.

Learn what it means to be distracted.

If we can choose what we focus on, we can better choose our lives. Conversely, distraction is any action that pulls us further from our goals and plans, obstructing us from becoming the person we want to be.

But being focused doesn’t mean we have to optimise every second of our day; Eyal believes that the difference between focus and distraction is simply intent. In the words of Dorothy Parker, ‘the time you plan to waste is not wasted time.’

In other words, you shouldn’t feel guilty about going on social media, watching Netflix or playing games. Provided that you’re using these services on your schedule and according to your values. ‘We need to stop moralising and medicalising these things; it’s perfectly fine if that’s what you want to do with your time.’

On the other hand, just because something is work-related doesn’t mean it’s not a distraction; scrolling Slack or checking emails and Industry news when you should be working on a project (or even taking a break) is just as distracting. In fact, it’s even worse as you might not even realise that you’re distracted.

Be aware of your triggers.

Both internal and external triggers can prompt us to take action.

External triggers account for around 10% of our distractions; these are things in our environment that shape what we do next, such as phone notifications or being disturbed by a colleague.

But Eyal explains that internal triggers account for the other 90%. Internal triggers are uncomfortable emotional states we seek to escape, such as boredom, fatigue, uncertainty or anxiety.

If you want to become in-distractable, you really need to understand the source of the problem. Otherwise, you’ll always find ways to escape that uncomfortable sensation. Most of us have this issue and haven’t yet found healthy ways to deal with these internal triggers, so it’s not a moral failing or character flaw. Neurologically speaking, we’re wired with the desire to escape discomfort.

The good news is that we can do something about it.

The first step is to be aware of these uncomfortable sensations and then choose how to respond.

By noting the internal trigger that precedes our discomfort (such as boredom, loneliness, uncertainty, or fatigue), we become curious about the sensation rather than contemptuous.

Rather than blaming the world around us for our distractions or shaming ourselves for not being good enough, Eyal instead tries to opt for claiming these internal feelings. While we might not be able to control our emotions, we can claim responsibility for how we respond to them.

Have techniques in your toolkit ready to go.

When you feel discomfort, it’s helpful to know what else you can do with it other than attempting to escape it with distraction.

One technique Eyal uses is simply saying no when he faces distraction.

Have you ever had a boss who micromanaged you or adults who over-explained things to you when you were a kid? The chances are that you felt some sort of resistance.

Fortunately, we can use these psychological reactants in our favour, too; by noticing that these distractions are threatening your agency, you’ll instinctively want to rebel against them,

While removing distractions from our environment is ideal, it’s often just not possible, so this technique comes in handy. Be firm, and tell your distraction: ‘Not yet; I get to choose what I want to do.’ Next, choose not to give in to that distraction for 10 minutes.

Remember, these emotional states aren’t permanent; just because you’re bored or angry now doesn’t mean you will be in 10 minutes.

Consider this: “How would the person you want to be spend their time today?

We need to focus to do most of the meaningful things in our lives.

Eyal explains that time is our most valuable asset, and by using simple tools such as planning, timeboxing, and setting the ‘do not disturb’ option on our phone, external things will less threaten our time.

“Be cheap with your time, not your money,’ Eyal says - don’t forget that both are limited resources that need to be budgeted and considered for the best output.

Eyal also suggests ensuring that we all hold time for reflection, which requires the absence of distractions. Reflection requires concentration, not reaction, and a constant stream of notifications won’t.

On that note, Eyal suggests critically considering our values when we plan our days. ‘How would the person you want to become spend your days?’

Shape your environment

Where possible, Eyal suggests shaping your environment to ensure you won’t be distracted during important moments, whether during work meetings or family dinners.

Shaping your environment could include easy measures such as setting up a charging station at home where everyone keeps their phone at all times or using apps like Cold Turkey to physical lock boxes like kSafe.

Another option is to find a focus partner to do tasks with or work alongside, as then you can hold each other accountable. You can do this virtually also using FocusMate for similar apps.

Using timeboxing not to-do lists

Eyal says, "Timeboxing is a better time management technique than a to-do list".

Most of us have experienced Parkinson's law theory, i.e. work expands to fill the time available to complete it. So, planning out periods into distinct tasks the day prior into an organised schedule (time box calendar)

It will help avoid distractions during the actual task and keep you focused on the task at hand.

Develop self-compassion

Getting your time back on track is difficult, especially where internal triggers are involved, so there’s nothing wrong with you when you inevitably get distracted.

To cultivate self-compassion, talk to yourself like you would a good friend.

After all, a good friend wouldn’t put you down after you had a bad day; that’s not helpful. Hopefully, they’d remind you that you’re only human.

By choosing to start mastering your internal triggers, attempting not to let technology get the better of you, and aiming to take back control of your attention, you’re already on the right path - no matter how many times you stumble along the way.